You've Got Female/Transcript
Olive: Wow. There are so many clubs. I don't know which one to pick! Sydney: Well, I know which club I'm joining. I've been dreaming about being a jazz band since I started playing bass. Olive: No one's even here. They're late. Sydney: Timing's nothing in the jazz world. Although I've only got till 4:00. Olive: Good. You can help me figure out which after-school club to join. Sydney: Let's find one that matches your personality. We'll start with the fact that you like to be prepared. Boy #1: Hand sanitizer? Olive: Love one. I'd like to do something to help people. Boy #1: Flyer for our CPR class? Olive: Sounds fun. Why is this so hard? Boy #1: Solar blanket? Olive: Handy. I don't think there's a club out there for me. Sydney: Olive! Olive: The Emergency Preparedness Club? Boy #1: Disposable ear plugs? Olive: I asked for these for Christmas! Sydney: And my work here is done. Sydney: Oh good, you're here. Where's the rest of the band? Miles: Cast didn't show. Sydney: Cool. I'm Sydney. Miles: Miles. I see you brought you ax. Sydney: Huh? [gasps] Oh. You mean my bass. Yeah, this cat doesn't go anywhere with her ax. Miles: We're looking for a bass player, but you'll have to audition. Sydney: Where do I sign up? Miles: We don't do pens. Tomorrow afternoon, here. Sydney: So... I'll see ya when I see ya. Sydney: I got an audition! Olive: I got a carbon monoxide tester! [THEME SONG] Max: Come on, Sydney, eat something. Sydney: Can't. The audition's today. Gotta keep these digits syrup and butter free. Max: Syd, you're an amazing bass player, you're gonna nail it. But not if that left pinky is weak from hunger. Feed me, Sydney. Feed me! Sydney: If I eat something, will you stop making my pinky talk. Max: Maybe. I'll stop. Max: I'm afraid to ask. Sydney: You look awesome, Grandma. What's with the gear? Judy: I'm on a adult dodge ball team, The Ball Blasters. Max: Aw. Both my girls are joining clubs. Judy: Joined? I was drafted. They saw me dodge an airbone cappuccino at the cofee shop. I've got moves like a cat. Max: Would you like eggs or should I just put down a bowl of milk? Sydney: Hey, Grandma, what kind of clubs was Dad into when he was a kid? Judy: Clubs? Ha! At your age, he only had one thing on his mind. to 1992 Leo: Hey! Break it up, you two. This is a family establishment. Young Max: Dude, this board deserves a little love. I just landed my first 360 kick flip. Leo: Well, you don't see me slobbering all over our new grand prize, the DiscGuy. If you were mine, you'd never be lonely. Young Max: What is that thing anyhow? Leo: That thing? That thing is a portable CD player. It can store up to 10 songs on it, and it only weighs two pounds. Young Max: Dude, it's 50,000 tickets. No one ever wins the grand prize. My dad said only suckers think they can win. Leo: I so got this. Brittany: I'll take the alien stikers. Leo: Excellent choice. Brittany: You know how to ride that thing or just kiss it? Leo: It's 50-50. Young Max: I just landed a 360 kick flip. Brittany: Ooh, tough trick. I remember when I first landed it... when I was 10. Young Max: Trying to say you could out-skate me? Brittany: Of course not. I know I can. Skate park on Main. Tomorrow after school. Young Max: You're on. Brittany: Bring bandages. You'll need them. Young Max: Don't worry. I will. Leo: Way to end strong. back to present day Olive: How's it going? Sydney: How'd you get in here? Olive: This. I can get in anywhere. It's like wearing a celebrity. Sydney: You should call it "Kanye Vest". Olive: I'l laugh when I'm off duty and lives aren't at skate. So? Sydney: It's between me and that guy. Olive: Oh, you're way better than him. You're gonna kill it. Miles: Cool. Thanks for coming in, Jake. You're up, Sydney. Olive: Quick. Let me see your bass face. Oh, it's on! (instruments play notes) (playing jazz music) Olive: Whoa. Hey, slide over. Respect the vest. (jazz music continuing) (music ends) to 1992 Young Max: Leo, I just came back from the skate park. Newsflash: Brittany is da bomb. Another newsflash: I really like saying newsflash. Leo: Can't talk. Crushing moles. Young Max: Britt's really good, man. She even taught me how to do a dolphin flip. Leo: Nice! Still can't talk. Young Max: When the Dog Boys saw me doing it, they gave me a "Whoa, dude". I've gotten a "Whoa" and a "Dude", but never a "Whoa, dude". Leo: Now that's a newsflash. back to present day Sydney: Ooh. They posted the new cloub rosters. (sighs) This is it, Olive. The moment of truth. Olive: Clear the way! BFF coming through! I wanna see an aisle, people! Sydney: I didn't get in. That kid Jake did. Olive: What? Fumble fingers? But you were so much better. How could they do this? Sydney: I don't know. But I'm gonna find out. Sydney: Miles. Max: Oh, uh... Hey. Sydney: I just saw the list. See you guys finally got pens. So, what's the deal? Why didn't I get in? Max: Oh, yeah. You know how it is, man. Sydney: No, I don't know... maaan. I thought I did pretty good. Max: Yeah, yeah. You were great. It's just that me and the guys took a vote. And, uh.. Jake was better fit. It's a vibe thing. Sydney: Yeah, I think I know what that vibe is. Olive: So? Sydney: They didn't pick me because I'm a girl. Olive: No! Sydney: Yes. Olive: No! Sydney: Yes. Olive: No! Sydney: Olive! Olive: Sorry. I'm at a loss for words. Sydney: Well, I'm not. Vice Principal Virmani! [[Vice Principal Virmani|'Vice Principal Virmani']]:''' Yes? '''Sydney: It's about the jazz club. I'm pretty sure I didn't get in because I'm a girl. Vice Principal Birmani: Sorry. I'd like to help but the school doesn't get involved in after-school clubs. We want to encourage problem--solving, empower students to speak for themselves. Sydney: I am speaking for myself, and I'd like my problem solved. Vice Principal Birmani: I love your passion. Sydney: And...? Vice Principal Birmani: Never lose it. Sydney: Oh, I'm about to lose it. Max: Hey, Syd. How'd it... go? I think I got my answer. Sydney: I wasn't picked for the jazz band because I'm a girl. Max: What? Sydney: I slayed that audition and all they said was it was a "vibe" thing. A vibe thing! This is so unfair. Max: Unfair? It's criminal. They can't exclude girls like that. Those boys need to-- Sydney: Uh, Dad... You mind? This is my rant. Max: Oh, right. Uh... Go on. Judy: Maybe a little D-ball would teach those boys a lesson. Sydney: Trust me, Grandma, these guys do not play dodge ball. Judy: Sometimes you don't know you're a game until you are! Sydney: And besides, it's not just them. I asked around. The model car club has turned down girls. And Gabby Kunkel can't get elected president of the Chess CLub. Judy: Noodle! You girls gotta get together and stand up for your rights. You gotta be heard! Max: Exactly. Sydney: You mean like a protest? Yeah. We'll take this to the streets. Max: You know, I was thinking more of a strongly worded e-mail. Okay, poster board and markers coming up. to 1992 Brittany: Hi. Is Max here? Judy: Did he leave those outside again? Max! Come in. Brittany: Actually, these are mine. I'm a boarder. Judy: Wow. I didn't know girls skateboard. Right on. I roller skate. Brittany: Nice! Young Max: Yo, Britt. Brittany: What's up, Max? Young Max: I taped the latest Tony Hawk competition. Supposed to be fly. Later, Mom. Judy: All right. All right. Great to meet you, Brittany. I'm proud of you. Go out there and kill it! Brittany: Hey, listen. Bad news. We're gonna have to find a new skate park. Young Max: Why? I love that park. Brittany: I know. But there were these jerks who won't let me skate the half pipe. They said they don't skate with girls. Young Max: What? That's so stupid. You could out-skate them all. Brittany: Tell that to the Dog Boys. Young Max: The Dog Boys? Brittany: You know those posers? Young Max: Me? Of course not. Never heard of them. They're just lucky I wasn't there, or... or... You get the picture. Judy: Who wants lemonade? back to present day Max: Who wants lemonade? Judy: Squad, this banner is so extra. Brooklyn, your glitter game is fire. Sydney: Can you believe this turnout? Olive: I know! Even the girls from the "I Don't Care Anything" club came. Sydney: I've never seen them so pumped. Ladies, can I have your attention? First, I'd like to thank everyone who came out tonight. Oh, and my dad for the tasty treats. Max: Notice the gingerbread cookies are gender-neutral. Change starts in the oven. Sydney: So here's the plan. Tomorrow at exactly 11:07, we will all quietly walk out of class. Olive: That's walk, not run. We are not protesting safety. Sydney: And then we'll meet in the main hall, sit down, and won't move until our demands are met. Olive: And what are they, Sydney? Sydney: That all clubs make their admission process open and transparent. Judy: And if that doesn't work, we'll burn our bras! Wrong group? Sydney: Moving along... Then we'll start our chant and I'll raise our beacon of hope. Max: You call that a beacon of hope? I'll make you a great beacon of hope. Judy: So, what's the chant? Sydney: Oh. I haven't thought of one. Olive: I did. Hey, ho, we won't go! Not until our clubs are fair and don't make sketchy decisions about who can join and who can't, especially the ones that don't let girls in! Sydney: Like that, only shorter. Olive: I don't know what we'd lose. Sydney: i wonder how many are actually gonna show. Olive: Well, so far there is... (clicking) Olive: Two! (indistinct chatter) Sydney: What? People! Even boy people! Cue the banner! (cheering) Sydney: We're not leavin', till it's even! All: We're not leavin', till it's even! We're not leavin', till it's even! Vice Principal Birmani: Everyone, everyone... All: We're not leavin', till it's even! We're not leavin'! Vice Principal Birmani: First of all... love your passion. Never lose it. But anyone who doesn't get back to class right now, gets detention. Sydney: Then put my name down first. Because this is bigger than having a day in detention. Olive: Yeah! Sydney: Or week in detention! Olive: Yeah! What? Sydney: It's about every young woman who has ever felt denied. It's about Gabby, who's the best chess player in school but can't get elected president of her club. It's about Aubrey, who just wants to build model cars. But this is bigger than just school clubs. Because one day, these boys will become men. So today is about our future. It's about ensuring equal opportunities and equal respect for all women everywhere. (cheering) Olive: Sydney, the beacon! Sydney: I know. Cool, right? So, we're not leavin'... All: Till it's even! We're not leavin', till it's even! We're not leavin-- (girls screaming) Olive: Don't worry! It's nontoxic. Sydney: Come on! It's just a little foam. Or a lot of it. (knocking on door) Max: Syd? Uh, listen. About the beacon of hope... I want to apologize. I guess I went a little heavy on the beacon and a little light on the hope. Sydney: It's okay, Dad. It's not your fault. I was crazy to think this protest would work. All it got me was a week of detention and two ears full of foam. Judy: Syd, I better yours ears are burning. Sydney: What? Olive said it was nontoxic. Judy: My girl Brooklyn DM'd me about your protest. It's gone viral. Peep the comments. Sydney: "The boys wouldn't let me play football". "I couldn't get into Improve Club because they said girls weren't funny". "I really to join Sewing Club". Oh! That's a dude. That's cool too. (phone chimes) Sydney: It's from the school. They've agreed to reopen club sign-ups! I'm getting a new audition. Max: Yes! Sydney: And to prove they're being transparent, it's open to the public. Judy: This is so lit. Max: Nothing's ever been lit-ter. Judy: Where is that dodgeball when I need it? to 1992 Brittany: Hey, Mega-Max. Young Max: Yo, Britt. Let me grab my deck and we'll go trash the pipes. Young Max: Oh no. Dog Boys. Young Max: Hey, Britt! I just remembered there's a new great new game I want you to try. Way over here. Brittany: But I like games that kick butt. Young Max: What kicks butt more than... bowling? Young Max: Leo, you gotta help me. The Dog Boys are here. If they see I skate with Brittany, no more "Whoa, dude". And if Brittany finds out I'm hanging with the Dog Boys, no more Brittany! Leo: Can't. Only 50 tickets away from DiscGuy. Young Max: Leo, I didn't want to do this, but... "Dirty Socks". Leo: What? You're using our "drop whatever you're doing and step up for your buddy, no matter what" word? Young Max: You left me no choice. All you have to do is keep Brittany busy till I get rid of the Dog Boys. Leo: Yeah, but the DiscGuy-- Young Max: Dirty Socks. Leo: I'm on it. Young Max: Yo, dudes. Wassup? Riccoli: Hey, little man. We were rolling through, thought we'd check out the place. It's pretty cool. Young Max: Yeah. But you know what's even cooler? The laundromat next door. Whoa, dude. Riccoli: Yo, scope out that racing game. I've always wanted to drive underwater. Young Max: Okay, Britt, let's go. Riccoli: But I like this game. Young Max: I thought you wanted to kick butt. Riccoli: I am. His. Leo: I need to get back to my game. Young Max: Dirty Socks. Leo: Taco salad. Young Max: What? You're gonna top my "dirty socks" with "taco salad"? You know you only get to use that once per lifetime. Leo: What's a lifetime without a DiscGuy? Young Max: Okay, okay. Just give me a second to get rid of the Dog Boys. Young Max: Hey, what happened to the game? Riccoli: This machine's busted. We're outtie. Come on. Young Max: Yeah, outtie is definitely the way to go. Riccoli: Hey, we're going to the skate park. You wanna come bust some tricks with us? Young Max: For real? You want me to skate with you? Sweet. Hold up. I gotta take care of-- Brittany. Brittany: I thought you didn't know these guys. Young Max: What? These guys are total strangers. Never seen them before in my life. Riccoli: You coming, Max? Young Max: Just a sec. Brittany: I can't believe you lied to me. You wanna hang with a bunch of jerks who don't think girls belong on a skateboard? I really thought you were cooler than that. Young Max: I am! I swear. Don't you get it? I'll hang with the Dog Boys and convince them that girls are awesome skaters too. Brittany: Don't bother. Riccoli: Let's go. Leo: Wow. Sometimes things don't end the way you think they will. Boy #2: DiscGuy, please. Leo: Huh? Hey! Put that back. There's no way you have 50,000 tickets. back to present day (playing jazz music) (music ends) Vice Principal Virmani: Thank you, Jake. Love your passion. Our next auditioner is... Sydney Reynolds. Olive: Good luck. Sydney: Thanks. Max: Ready? Sydney: Ready. (playing jazz music) (music ends) (cheering) Max: Girl power! You crushed it. Jake: Not bad. Sydney: Thanks. Olive: You so got this. Vice Principal Virmani: Next up, Yolanda Peters. Sydney: Who? (playing funk music) (music ends) (cheering) Jake: You're not bad, but she blew us both out of the water. Sydney: I know. Yolanda: Sydney, if it wasn't for you, I never would have had the courage to even audition. You inspire me. Sydney: (weakly) Yay. Max: Syd, again, I'm sorry you didn't get into the band. Sydney: Thanks, Dad but if it's all the same, I'd rather forget about it right now. What's this? Max: That? Nothing. Just a box. Can't a guy put a box in the fridge without a million questions? Sydney: Did that say "Congratulations, Sydney"? Max: Not anymore. Sydney: Thanks anyways, Dad. Max: You know what? Congratulations are in order. Look how you helped those girls. Sydney: It does feel pretty great. Although I wouldn't have had to do any of this if there were more woke guys like you. Max: Well, I wasn't always this awake. When I was a kid, I used to skate with this awesome girl. But I was as big a dope as those jazz boys and I lost a friend because of it. Sydney: Well, the important thing is, it's not the dope you were then, but the totally dope dad you are now. Although you are hogging the cake. Max: I'm a work in progress. Judy: You are not gonna believe what's going down. Sydney: What's wrong, Grandma? Judy: The Ball Blasters kicked me out. They said I was too aggressive. Too aggressive! But I know the real reason. It's because I'm a woman. Sydney: Grandma, it's an all-girl league. Judy: I'm texting Brooklyn. You two get the paint and signs. I'll show them something they can't dodge. Me! Category:Transcripts Category:Season 1 Transcripts